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    The ABC’s of Healthy Relationships

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    1 : The ABC’s of Healthy Relationships Run your relationships. Don’t let them run you. Funded by a grant from Youth Venture
    2 : - Mission We believe that young people of all backgrounds deserve the opportunity to lead, participate, and get the guidance and support they need. While the Youth Venture opportunity is available to all youth 12-20 years of age, the focus of our limited resources is primarily on young people from disadvantaged backgrounds. We believe young people are capable. We seek systemic change rather than “retail” assistance to individual youth.
    3 : Run your relationships. Don’t let them run you.
    4 : Types of Relationships What types of relationships are there? Family (such as siblings and parents) Friends Romantic (boyfriends or girlfriends) Casual: Professional (such as teachers, clergy or medical professionals) Acquaintances (such as people you know and recognize in passing)
    5 : Why are Healthy Relationships Important? Everyone is part of relationships Being in a good relationship helps us: Know ourselves Develop as a person Grow emotionally Communicate and maintain meaningful bonds with other people Have fun! 1
    6 : What is a Healthy Relationship? Individual identity and freedom Encouragement and support Boundaries Cooperation and compromise Consideration Communication Trust Respect 2
    7 : What is an Unhealthy Relationship? An unhealthy relationship may include: Teasing or bullying Power struggles Angry outbursts Withholding love Coercion or peer pressure Unreasonable demands Humiliation 3
    8 : The Media and Relationships Exposure How are relationships portrayed in the media? Facts Most relationships on TV are superficial, short term and “easy.” Out of the TV shows that contain overt sexual content, only 15% discuss risk and responsibility.
    9 : The ABC’s
    10 : A: Awareness What is awareness? General knowledge Knowing consequences Prevention of violence
    11 : B: Balance What does balance mean? Nothing is one-sided Communication Both people have valuable opinions Having other friends and interests
    12 : C: Choices Make a conscious choice Don’t let things “just happen”
    13 : So, how can knowing the ABC’s help you have healthy relationships?
    14 : Keys to Healthy Relationships The Base of the ABC’s: Communication Trust Respect
    15 : Communication Communication= talking and listening Open and honest 4
    16 : Communicating – Body Language and Tone Body language and tone can express more than your words! Activity: Using Body Language 6
    17 : Trust Being honest Proving you are reliable and responsible What happens in a relationship without trust? Second guessing Not believing each other Betrayal by sharing secrets Obsessively checking on the person
    18 : Respect: You have to give it to get it! Everyone deserves respect. Trust and support each other Value each other's independence Have the freedom to be yourself Talk honestly 8
    19 : Being Respectful Respect yourself Show respect with your words and actions Verbal and emotional abuse is a sign of an unhealthy relationship. 9
    20 : Boundaries Understand and honor boundaries Each relationship can have different boundaries Understand when boundaries can/cannot be crossed
    21 : The ABC’s in Action: Evaluating a Friendship Is the friendship worth it? Are you aware of all the risks? Is there balance in your friendship? What are your choices? Make a conscious choice. ?Is this a healthy friendship? 10 11
    22 : The ABC’s in Action: Sexuality Is your romantic relationship ready for sexuality? Consider: Are you aware of your options and the consequences of being sexual? Are you balancing all aspects of your life in your decision, including your present desires and future goals? Make a conscious choice. 12
    23 : Danger Signs Not talking and avoiding problems Lack of trust Jealousy Lack of balance Lack of respect
    24 : Red Lights Does the other person…? Put you down Get extremely jealous or possessive Constantly check up on you Tell you how to dress Try to control what you do and who you see Have big mood swings Make you feel nervous (like you are walking on eggshells) Criticize you Threaten to hurt you
    25 : One Outcome of Bad Relationships… Dating Violence How common is dating violence? About one in four adolescents reports verbal, physical, emotional or sexual abuse each year. Recent studies show that 1/3 of teens experience some form of abuse in dating relationships. More than half of the teens surveyed know someone who has been abused. 13
    26 : What is the Dating Violence Cycle? Tension: Criticism, yelling, swearing, angry gestures, coercion or threats Violence: Physical and sexual attacks or threats Seduction: Apologies, promises to change or gifts ?Jealousy and Possessiveness 14
    27 : Myths of Dating Violence “He/she will never do it again.” “I am not being abused.” “I will leave when the time is right.” “It only happens to girls.” 15
    28 : Helping a Friend - Warning Signs Is your friend: Becoming more isolated? Not participating in activities he/she formerly enjoyed? Spending an excessive amount of time with the other person? Displaying physical and emotional signs of abuse? 16
    29 : What Should You Do? In an unhealthy relationship, you can: Work it out End the relationship Tell someone about the abuse Helping your friend Do not make them feel bad about their choices Offer to go with them to get help Remember you cannot “rescue” them 17
    30 : Resources National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799- SAFE (7233) Break the Cycle http://www.breakthecycle.org/ 1-888-988-TEEN (8336) Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network http://www.rainn.org/ 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
    31 : Thank You! This presentation, along with other health information and resources, is available online at: www.pamf.org/preteen www.pamf.org/teen
    32 : Picture Credits 1. www.vish.me.uk 2. www.arlingtondiocese.org 3. www.dominie.com.au 4. www.girlshealth.gov 5. www.redcross.ca 6. www.youngwomenshealth.org/healthy_relat.html 7. att.iparenting.com/teenagers/bdd.htm 8. www.troubledteen.us 9. www.bbc.co.uk 10. www.mnohs.org 11. http://www.cpcanchorage.com/am_i_pregnant.html 12. health2.uml.edu 13. www.ci.escondido.ca.us 14. www.honeysmith.com 15. www.sxc.hu
    33 : Group Activity: Crossing the Line Size Gender Brains Race Interests Clothing
    34 : Run your relationships. Don’t let them run you.

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